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Loch Ness Monster Debunks Evolution

June 26, 2012

Breaking news: According to the Herald Scotland, the existence of the Loch Ness monster is being used to disprove evolution in Louisiana schools. And governor Jindal’s state funds for private schools are paying for it.

Why Nessie?  Recall that, according to young-earth creationists, all species that exist now existed at the beginning–and vice versa. Thus, if dinosaurs existed 6,000 years ago…they must still exist today. As in The Highest Frontier, where a Centrist asks whether Medieval artists depicted dinosaurs–“Dinosaurs are rarely seen. But the Medievals had sharper eyes than we do.”

Reportedly, a textbook by Accelerated Christian Education, Inc. reads: “Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the ‘Loch Ness Monster’ in Scotland? ‘Nessie’ for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur.”

Now lest our European readers start to smirk about American fundamentalism, the UK has similar religious schools. Though not state funded, the Evangelical Christian curriculum they follow has been approved by a UK Government agency.

So how might we follow up this ground-breaking discovery? What further research directions might we pursue?

  1. June 26, 2012 6:20 pm

    A follow up to the Challenger expedition to S. America to explore that plateau with dinosaurs?

    Since we found coelacanths, obviously there must be ancient marine reptiles in the oceans somewhere. All those sea serpent sightings couldn’t be mistaken, could they?

  2. Barkeron permalink
    June 26, 2012 7:01 pm

    We should sequence the genomes of Teabagger in order to find out to what ancestor species of homo sapiens they belong.

  3. heteromeles permalink
    June 26, 2012 9:07 pm

    Well, to believe in Nessie, you can’t believe it trivial things like ice ages (which glaciated Loch Ness and would have killed off any plesiosaurs) nor plate tectonics (Loch Ness is in a fault line, so stories about underwater passages to the ocean are unlikely in the extreme). Nessie also fails the basic ecological test of not having a food web that could support a breeding population of animals Nessie’s size, unless it is some sort of chemoautotroph.

    Probably says a lot about me, but whenever I see an adult uncritically swallowing Nessie as a surviving plesiosaur, it makes me wonder what incredible stupidities I’m swallowing uncritically, either through lack of education or deliberate blindness. Always good to check for the log in my own eye, as that ol’ book says.

    Personally, I also feel sorry for the kids who are force-fed this bilge slime, and who have to rebel against their parents, friends, and society just to pursue the truth. There’s a lot of them out there, and more power to them.

    • June 27, 2012 8:37 am

      You’re right, that’s good reminder, to wonder what we’re swallowing.
      But the lost children’s minds are tragic.
      Sometimes their parents find twisted ways to let them out. At an Adventist graduation party, I introduced myself as an evolutionist. A mother told me her daughter wants to be a doctor, then excused herself while I explained evolution to her child.

      • heteromeles permalink
        June 27, 2012 3:39 pm

        Thank you Joan! I hope that girl pursued her dream. Kudos also to the mother for setting aside her own belief to let her child pursue her dream.

  4. paws4thot permalink
    June 27, 2012 3:55 am

    Ok, here’s the Scottish PoV, just for you guys, and I’m taking a risk just saying this. 😉

    Nessie is not a plesiosaur but a tourist attraction!

    • June 27, 2012 8:38 am

      From my recollection of Scotland, they can do better than that. The castles are awesome–and more solid than grainy black photos.

      • paws4thot permalink
        June 27, 2012 10:54 am

        Even on a grey day like this, Dumbarton, Edinburgh and Stirling castles (picked for all being on volcanic plugs and standing 200 feet plus above most surrounding terrain) are spectacular.

  5. Alex Tolley permalink
    June 27, 2012 10:27 am

    Suppose there was a living dinosaur found today, would it invalidate evolution? Not at all, only that it survived the Cretaceous. What would violate evolution is the finding of a dinosaur in the Cambrian rocks, or a modern mammal in the Cretaceous.

  6. JamesPadraicR permalink
    June 27, 2012 10:48 am

    Reminds me of a news story I saw a few years ago about a Creationist group leading tours of the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. One clip showed the young tour guide starting off by saying “When Jesus created the universe…”

    If they don’t even know their own theology, how can they deal with actual science?

    • heteromeles permalink
      June 27, 2012 2:01 pm

      Too true. In fact, if you really want to have fun with Creationists, ask them to explain the structure of the universe from Genesis 1. Given how much that conflicts with basic physics, I think it’s pathetically sad that creationists focus entirely on the minimal account of biology in Genesis.

  7. Rick York permalink
    June 27, 2012 3:34 pm

    I saw this a couple of days ago and posted it on my FB page. One of my friends commented saying “You made this up.” I replied, “No, I’m not creative enough to make it up.”

    I’m now 67. If anyone had told me 40 years ago that – by the time I reached this advanced age – almost 50% of the American people believe that “god” made the world in 7 days 8 thousand years ago, I would have laughed at her.

    I try to laugh now but it really isn’t that funny any more.


    • paws4thot permalink
      June 28, 2012 3:43 am

      [pedant]…in 6 days, 6016 years ago…[/end] 😉

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